The Case Against Marriage, Thanks to Newsweek

Taken from the Girls Gone Wise website...

by: Dr. Albert Mohler

One essential task for the Christian Church is to rebuild and maintain a marriage culture — even when marriage itself no longer makes sense to so many around us.

“Once upon a time, marriage made sense.” So write Jessica Bennett and Jesse Ellison in the June 11, 2010 edition of Newsweek magazine. The two women who wrote the article are both young adults who identify themselves as “committed to our careers, friendships, and, yes, our relationships.” But, as for marriage, not so much.

As Bennett and Ellison explain their case, marriage once made sense, at least for women, because it “was how women ensured their financial security, got the fathers of their children to stick around, and gained access to a host of legal rights.” But now, thanks largely to the feminist movement, they claim, the financial and legal rights are theirs without marriage. They never actually get around to saying much about fathers sticking around to take responsibility for children.

The Newsweek article represents what may be the most direct journalistic attack on marriage in our times. Though only an op-ed column, it presents arguments that had to date been made largely, if not exclusively, outside of mainstream circles. Consider this column an opening salvo in a battle to finish marriage off, once and for all.
Both women identify themselves as secular, and their rejection of marriage reflects the inevitable crumbling of a marriage culture in the wake of a moral revolution. As they explain, reserving sex for marriage is simply unthinkable to them and their peers. “And the idea that we’d ’save ourselves’ for marriage? Please.” Interestingly, they quote a young man who makes a remarkable case for why the loss of moral stigma for premarital sex breaks down the institution of marriage itself: “If I had to be married to have sex, I would probably be married, as would every guy I know.”

And when it comes to having children without marriage: “We know that having children out of wedlock lost its stigma a long time ago.” They then point with envy to Scandinavia, where a majority of children are now born out of wedlock, but parents claim to spend more time with their children than parents of other nations.
The secular worldview represented by Bennett and Ellison is joined to their status as young professionals. Marriage does not enhance professional prospects, they argue. Women who take their husbands’ last name are considered less professional, less competent, and less ambitious than women who keep their own names.

As they explain, “We are also the so-called entitled generation, brought up with lofty expectations of an egalitarian adulthood; told by helicopter parents and the media, from the moment we exited the womb, that we could be ‘whatever we wanted’—with infinite opportunities to accomplish those dreams. So you can imagine how, 25 years down the line, committing to another person—for life—would be nerve-racking.”
And just who are they seeking as partners, anyway? They explain that their generation of young women is looking for a “soulmate” — a fantasy they admit is hard to define and even harder to find.
And an adult lifetime is just too long for any realistic commitment, they insist. “With our life expectancy in the high 70s, the idea that we’re meant to be together forever is less realistic.” So while their generation of young women is, by their admission, unrealistic in what they are looking for in a partner, they are supposedly cold sober realistic when it comes to calculating the value of marriage, and finding it wanting.

This duo of young women go so far as to claim that “the permanence of marriage seems naive, almost arrogant.” Others, of course, might be forgiven for seeing unbridled arrogance in dismissing an institution that has been central to human flourishing for thousands of years.

They cite authorities who make the predictable arguments that humans are not hardwired for monogamy, anyway. Bennett and Ellison propose that perhaps a series of short, mostly monogamous relationships is best. “For us, it’s not that we reject monogamy altogether—indeed, one of us is going on six years with a partner—but that the idea of marriage has become so tainted, and simultaneously so idealized, that we’re hesitant to engage in it,” they explain.

In their essay, Bennett and Ellison cite a considerable body of research on marriage and make reference to our disastrous divorce rate. Nevertheless, it never seems to cross their minds that the very social trends they celebrate were the cause of marital decline — both in terms of individual marriages and the institution of marriage itself.
The moral revolutions of the late-twentieth century brought personal autonomy to preeminence. These moral revolutions included the rise of “no fault” divorce and a host of other developments that subverted marriage. Chief among these was the “liberation” of sex from marriage. Once sexual intercourse was no longer limited to married couples, marriage lost respect and binding authority, becoming more like a mere legal contract. Once having children out of wedlock was normalized (at least in many sectors of the society), marriage became a lifestyle option and little else.

There is an amazing lack of humility in the article by Bennett and Ellison, and a breathtaking lack of concern for other women as well. What about women who are not so professional, so secular, and so liberated from a desire for marriage? They are simply thrown under the bus, run over by the very social trends and moral revolutions these women champion and celebrate.

The Christian church should take careful note of this essay, not because its arguments are unprecedented, but because its distillation of these arguments in one of the nation’s two major newsweeklies must not escape attention. Christians see marriage, first of all, as an institution made good and holy by the Creator. Its value, for us, is not established by sociology but by Scripture. We also understand that God gave us marriage for our good, for our protection, for our sanctification, and for human flourishing.
In other words, the Bible compels us to see marriage as essential to human happiness, health, and infinitely more.
The essay by Jessica Bennett and Jesse Ellison is an undeniable reminder of our challenge to rebuild a marriage culture, and to start inside our own churches. “Once upon a time, marriage made sense,” Bennett and Ellison assert. One essential task for the Christian Church is to rebuild and maintain a marriage culture — even when marriage itself no longer makes sense to so many around us.

The Love of the Father

"When my children were small, they would make art projects for me at school or camp. Often these creations featured stuff like dry macaroni, glitter, construction paper, clay, and pipe cleaners. From a purely aesthetic point of view, sometimes they were kind of goofy-looking. But because these gifts came from my child’s heart, I loved them. I praised my son or daughter, and I hung the artwork on my wall at the office for all to see.

I was thinking of this recently as I reflected on God’s love for me—an earthly father’s love magnified a million times. He sees our hearts and loves who we are, and He praises us for what we do for Him. Sometimes our best efforts might look to Him like old pasta poorly glued on paper, but like any Father anywhere, He cherishes them.

I like to think God hangs my rudimentary “art projects” on His wall in heaven. This breaks my heart and fills me with joy, all at the same time.

Father’s Day is a great opportunity to celebrate our earthly fathers—but also the ultimate Father, who teaches us, every day, what love truly is."

by Richard Stearns, CEO of World Vision
www.theholeinourgospel.com/blog

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Note from Natalie

Hey Everyone!

I am really looking forward to our upcoming Bible study which starts a week from this Tuesday, on June 15th. We will be meeting from 6:30-8:00 p.m. at the church in the CLC-2nd floor-room 206. (The CLC is the building adjacent to the Venue and the fellowship hall.)

The study is called "Living Your Life as a Beautiful Offering," by Angela Thomas; it is based on Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. The church has already ordered the workbooks, and they will be available for you the first night at a price of $11. Please bring cash or a check made out to FBCT.

Childcare is available and arrangements have been made for all of you who let me know in advance that you needed that service. If you didn't sign up for childcare and still need it, please let me know ASAP.
Can't wait to see all of you and find out what God has in store for each of us through this study!
See you soon...

Natalie Johnson

More from Samaritan's Purse

1 MILLION REASONS FOR HOPE

A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE HIV/AIDS MINISTRY

Samaritan's Purse has reached a milestone in HIV/AIDS ministry. More than 1 million people worldwide have been reached through our Biblically-based education programs, which include basic facts about the disease, marital faithfulness, home care programs, reducing discrimination, and overcoming the fear of testing.

Martin is one of those million. His neighbors suspected he had HIV/AIDS after a severe case of tuberculosis and frequent bouts of malaria left his body frail and weak. Ignorance and fear caused them to shun Martin, leaving him isolated and alone.

Samaritan's Purse workers in Uganda found Martin hiding behind a mango tree when they came to his village to teach people about HIV/AIDS. "I sat away from the people, because they never wanted me to be near them," he said.

One of the workers talked to Martin about the disease and presented the Good News of Jesus Christ. "They talked to me at length about HIV and shared the love of Jesus," Martin said. "I received Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. It was a turning point in my life. Hope and peace were restored."

Please pray that millions more will come to know the grace and the truth of Jesus Christ—the only true source of hope in this world—as we equip local Christians with the knowledge and resources to reach out to families and communities vulnerable to HIV/AIDS.

What part of the Gospel is optional?

Love Your Neighbor Benefit

You know how I love to pass on random things I find...  Tuesday night in Nashville is a concert to help the victims of the flood waters.  Of course, Nashville is too far away for us to go for a concert, but you can watch it online to see Brandon Heath, Toby Mac, Jason Ingram, Britt Nicole, and Mike Donehy (Tenth Avenue North) at this link for Fellowship Bible Church.

National Day of Prayer

"[If] My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

-2 Chronicles 7:14

Remember to keep our country and its leaders in your prayers and boldly enter the presence of God through prayer for the United States of America.

What is fruit?

(I read this post by Ron Duncan today on the I Am Not Ashamed blog.  Very thought provoking!)   

When you hear Christians talking about producing “fruit”, what are they talking about?

Do these things come to mind when you think of “fruit”?

1.Number of people saved/baptized
2.Increase in number of people attending church
3.Increase in number of people in small groups or Sunday school
4.Lots of church activities/opportunities
5.Number of people involved in ministries
6.Tithes and offering increased
7.Plans for building additions/building new buildings
8.New ministries started
9.Mission trips
10.Personal growth plans
11.Add yours here . . .

It's funny how so many people think of fruit as the things we do or accomplish instead of what the Bible calls fruit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. (Gal. 5:22)

Why is this? God’s word is clear about where fruit comes from—“I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”—John 15:5

We would much rather be in charge of producing the fruit, wouldn’t we? I mean, this way we get to determine what we do and where we go. You know, God just tell me what your plan is for my life and I will handle it from there. We get to maintain control instead of having to trust God. The problem here is, that is not how God works.

God is more interested in real “fruit”—the fruit from Gal. 5:22. Why? Because He is interested in changing us! Not just doing some stuff! He created everything just by speaking! Don’t you think He can accomplish things without us to help out?

Changing us means complete surrender to God. You know giving up credit, giving praise only to God, allowing God to receive credit for whatever happens. This is one of those statements that have been so overused to the point that it does not hold much credibility anymore. You must think more of God than you or maybe all of God and none of you.

Jesus said “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it”—Matthew 10:37-39

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”—I Corinthians 10:31

“For my own name’s sake I delay my wrath; for the sake of my praise I hold it back from you, so as not to cut you off. See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another.”—Isaiah 48:9-11

Maybe we are a little too self-centered instead of God-centered. What if God got all the glory for building His church? (He is the one that does it anyway!) I have prayed with lost people who got saved, but I have never saved anyone. I have shared and taught believers Truth and encouraged them to follow God, but I have never sanctified anyone.

God produces the fruit in us. God empowers and accomplishes the good works through us. God does it all! God does it for Himself!


*Don't forget the social planned for April 30 at Jason & Michelle's house!  Get your babysitter now!!

Prayer & Pampers for Becky!

Continue to pray for Becky as she goes through her last few weeks of pregnancy and for a safe delivery when Hudson decides to make his debut into the world!

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord,

children a reward from him."

Psalm 127:3

Happy Easter! Now what?

"And from everyone who has been given much, much shall be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more."

Luke 12:48

As we all come down from the sugar high of Easter, what are some ways we can live Easter all year?  In the Bible study I am currently in (Anointed Transformed Redeemed), Priscilla Shirer wrote about the benefits and responsibilities of being one of God's children.  She writes, "God's desire to bless His children with abundance and blessing is seen from the very beginning of the Old Testament and into the church age.  However, his blessing was most often tied to a requirement on the part of those He loved."  The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is a free gift to us, but a heart in line with God should be compelled to take on the responsiblities that go along with the benefits.  I hope you'll listen to the following song and look for ways this week to be Jesus to the world (or in our world of Trussville) by being "his voice calling, his hands healing, his feet walking to a broken world."  By just simply loving others whether it's the clerk at the grocery store who needs a friendly face or the person who cuts you off in traffic because they must be in a bigger hurry than you are.  Or in my case, the daughter who is pushing all of your buttons!  Jesus needs our help to do His good work.  Will you be His love?

Announcements

• Prayer & Pampers shower for Becky Rogers and Baby Hudson TONIGHT at Elaine's house - 6:30
• MetroChangers - Saturdays in April
• Let's get social!  Class dinner (adults only) at Jason & Michelle's on Friday, April 30.  Details about food will come soon.  Get your babysitters now!!!
• Class members, for prayer requests see the class facebook page.